My Way or the Highway - NO!!!

Being in charge doesn’t mean doing it all your way. The best leaders know when to set the course—and when to let someone else take the wheel.

Me at the helm of an America’s Cup racing boat.

I’ll be at the helm for the famous FIGAWI Sailing race this weekend. I’ll help lead our team from Hyannis to Nantucket, Massachusetts – and hopefully over the finish line first. We won this race two years ago. Our crew has the experience to take home the trophy again.

I have extensive sailing experience and the following credentials:

• a Master USCG Captain License

• Certified American Sailing Association Instructor with a 4.0 out of 4.0 rating

• Staff Officer – Vessel Examiner with the USCG (US Coast Guard) Auxiliary

But this experience isn’t the secret to success (though it does help).

Remember how I’ve written before about “two ears, one mouth” and you should use those in that proportion?

The secret to success is understanding that there’s more than one way to do things. Even with all the experience I have as a captain, I’m only one person with only my experiences and knowledge. Our team, our crew, is composed of seven people. Each of those seven crew members bring different experiences and knowledge. And that’s seven more sets of eyes, ears, gut feelings, and the synergy of the team.

Think about how you load the dishwasher. There are multiple ways to place the plates, bowls, etc. Some people like to load the silverware handles up. Others load the silverware handles down. The silverware will get clean either way. Yet, sometimes, people get emotionally attached to ideas or habits.

There’s more than one way to load a dishwasher, just like there’s more than one way to lead a crew in a sailing race or lead an organization.

Scenes from previous races, including last year's race crew (bottom left) and me after a different race with a different boat (bottom right).

My Way or Our Way?

Great leaders have a high level of emotional intelligence. They are not stuck on, “My Way or the Highway”. They help people grow and develop and become leaders by creating space for people to feel comfortable questioning how things are done and then creating new ways to do things.

When leaders allow that space to exist, they create the synergy that multiplies the impact seven people can have – often by a factor of 10.

Each of us has our own personality. One method researchers have developed to simplify personalities is the OCEAN Model.

• Openness: How open you are to new experiences and trying new things

• Conscientiousness: How structured, organized, and committed you are to your work

• Extraversion: How you get your energy, whether from being alone (introverted) or being with others (extroverted)

• Agreeableness: How you deal with others, whether you strive for harmony or tend to voice your opinions even if different from others

• Neuroticism: How strongly you tend to negative emotions

The degree you have for each of the above traits will affect how you work / lead others. Likewise, the interaction of team members and where they are on the OCEAN Model will influence the success of the team.

We’re all different and respond to actions differently. Keeping the OCEAN Model in mind will make you a more emotionally intelligent leader. Of course, there are certain tasks and processes your people need to follow. But when you remind yourself to give others freedom and space when appropriate, you will not micromanage. Instead, you will recognize that it is not bad to do things another way, especially if the job still gets done.

Not only is it not bad—it is good, because it helps people feel safe and comfortable in the workplace. This is part of building an emotionally intelligent culture, one with trust and psychological safety, which allows people to enjoy their jobs more.

Finally, research shows that the more flexible and adaptable you are, you increase your abilities to:

• Get along with others

• Have healthy relationships

• Think critically and outside the box

• Successfully navigate challenges, bounce back from adversity, and generally be more resilient

So, throw out the expression, “My Way or the Highway”

As you do, you might find their way is not so bad after all—maybe even better than yours. And you are becoming more emotionally intelligent in the process.

I know I’ll be keeping all this in mind as we race against 100 other boats to Nantucket.

Wish us luck!

---

You don’t have to embark on this journey alone. I’m here to help. I can coach you to have a winning mindset for your business. Together, we can create a customized plan that sets you on the path to success.

I am beyond thrilled that the work I’ve done with my coaching clients led to me being named Management Consulting & Coaching CEO of the Year for 2024 (USA).

Let’s make this year your most productive and fulfilling yet!